Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Overwhelming Grief

When Jesus saw her sobbing and the Jews with her sobbing, a deep anger welled up within him. He said, "Where did you put him?"
"Master, come and see," they said. Now Jesus wept
. (John 11:33-34)

Last week my friends and I talked about the reason for Jesus' anger. I said that I thought he was angry at death...furious at Satan...enraged because this wasn't how life was supposed to be when His Father created us. This grief...this overwhelming and suffocating grief He had! His friend Lazarus...gone.

4 days later, I sit here grief-stricken and angry. My friend, a true soul-sister and kindred spirit, one who stood beside me on my wedding day, is gone.

We hadn't talked for years as the miles got the best of us. But our friendship was held together by invisible heart strings and we are Princesses of the same King.

I have no memories of her other than us laughing. Except the day I moved back to Ohio. That day we cried for a long while.

The coronor has ruled her death a suicide. Suicide. When her husband said the word it was like a punch in the gut. It cannot be. It. cannot. be.

He (Satan) was a killer from the very start. He couldn't stand the truth because there wasn't a shred of truth in him. When the Liar speaks, he makes it up out of his lying nature and fills the world with lies. John 8:44

I am angry that for a brief moment, my beloved friend believed a lie from the pit of hell that said taking her life was a solution to whatever obstacles she faced. Had he been lying to her for a long time about other things? Had he convinced her that she was no Princess at all? I am livid that he could have been hurling insults and lies at her for months...years. No wonder she was weary. The evil one is ruthless and tireless. I sit here looking at a picture of my friend...her hand on someone's shoulder and her tongue sticking out. I remember we laughed after I snapped the photo. My friend would not take her own life. Of this I have no doubt.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

We need each other, friends. The world is full of lies and we know the Truth. Jesus Christ. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Nothing. Let us put on the full armor of Christ, let us teach our children how to suit up, remind our spouses, and let us encourage our sisters to dress for the battle.

How dare the thief try to steal what was never his.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.


LillySue said...

Goodness, I am soo sorry for the hurt you are feeling right now. Your post is right on....The ENEMY is exactly what he is! Thank you for sharing your heart and you and her family will be in my prayers!

carissa... brown eyed fox said...

so very sorry! so very!

you & her family are in my prayers!

love from a sister in God...

Mrs. C... said...

Thank you so much for sharing and being raw with it all. I am so sorry for your loss, but your anger is righteous, and well funneled. I will be praying for you and the healing that now needs to happen.

Paul said...

No words are adequate.
Sincerest sympathies.
I have discovered the longer that I live that it is a truth, a fact of life, that not only good things happen to us whilst we are here on earth.
Bad things do happen to good people and they happen every day.
A couple of thoughts:
Our religion does not promise only good things.
Instead, it promises the ability to cope, the ability to carry on, the promise that somehow a plan is being worked out.
I confess that I often do not see the why of the Plan.
I confess to anger and fury and grief - but I do believe there is a plan.
And I believe that you do too.

Your metaphor of 'armoring up' to face what the world has to offer is a good one.

Again, sincerest sympathies.
No words can ease the pain.

Mrs. Dunbar said...

So very sorry, my dear friend. This type of farewell is always so much more disheartning because of all of the unanswered 'whys??'

I've already been lifting you all up in my prayers.

God's Girl said...

In times like this, words are hard to come by...

Here is a hug from me to you.

I am so sorry for all that you are going through. You are absolutely right... the enemy's goal is ultimately death. He is the one who deceives and lies that this life is hopeless.

God says it is full of hope, only because of Him!

I pray that the Lord's everloving arms would wrap you and hold you to bring comfort to your hurting heart.

Love to you sweet one,

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